


everybody here's got somebody to lean on

by toneelspeler



Series: theory of mind [3]
Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Absent Parents, Best Friends, Coming Out, Friendship, Gen, M/M, POV Second Person, Sexuality
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-15
Updated: 2017-09-15
Packaged: 2018-12-30 05:23:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12101679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/toneelspeler/pseuds/toneelspeler
Summary: In hindsight, you would have probably never suggested Narcos to your best friend if you had known how foul the language was even in the first episodes. It’s a brilliant series; great actors and a genuinely intriguing story. He seemed excited to see it whenever you invited him over to watch. If only you had noticed then that his eyes lowered every time he read that word in the subtitles. If only you had known how much he internalised that word.But then again, that is usually the response to what happened with him. You wish you could go back. You would have done so many things differently.In hindsight.---A best friend's perspective on Isak Valtersen.





	everybody here's got somebody to lean on

In hindsight, you would have probably never suggested  _Narcos_ to your best friend if you had known how foul the language was even in the first episodes. It’s a brilliant series; great actors and a genuinely intriguing story. He seemed excited to see it whenever you invited him over to watch. If only you had noticed then that his eyes lowered every time he read that word in the subtitles. If only you had known how much he internalised that word.

But then again, that is usually the response to what happened with him. You wish you could go back. You would have done so many things differently.

In hindsight.

–

You have known him since you were kids; seated next to each other in class, and you naturally gravitated towards each other. He was funny, and a tad mischievous. Always up for adventure. You became inseparable, sleeping over at your place constantly; delving into the wondrous world of girls and parties and hooking up.  

It’s only when you start going to Nissen that you notice something else.

He is also very lonely.

–

He’s always been very honest about his parents towards you; that they are the reason why he doesn’t want to be home most of the time. It took some prodding, but you have come to know each other very well. You had asked him to tell you when it became too much, that you’d be there in an instant – that you wouldn’t want him to deal with it alone.

You never expected it to happen so soon. Not when you were only sixteen years old.

And you hate yourself for only being able to help him when it was too late.

–

His moving out didn’t come as that big of a surprise. One day he told you he was staying in an apartment, rooming with one of your ex’s friends. You had apologised to him for not being there when he needed it; he said that the both of you were kind of busy with fighting bottles to really sit down and talk about it before.

Despite this, you can see both regret and relief in his face when he talks about his mother. You tell him that it’s okay that he feels that way, but that he made the right decision.

He’s so much stronger than he gives himself credit for.

–

In your second year, you’re no longer just  _Jonas and Isak_ , the best bros™. It’s become – what Magnus lovingly named you at your first party together – MMJI. It’s been great to expand your close friend circle a little; it takes your best friend out of his shell a bit. He’s been more confident than he’s ever been before, landing more hookups than he has in years.

Now, if that confidence had also extended to his ability to get weed out of the party without losing it, that would have been great.

You love him, you do, but he’s a messy person sometimes. This time he’s on his own.

–

Over the next few weeks, he forgets and stumbles, he ignores and disappears. He’s changing from cheerful to grumpy or silent in a matter of days. Sometimes his eyes tell you he’s lying; other times you’re not quite sure if you can see the difference anymore. He has parties and pre-parties with  _other people,_  without  _you_ , when it’s always been you two together at any party you go to.

You worry that his parents might be going through a rough spot again; but you hoped that he would come and talk to you about it. He always did so before. Maybe he’s just found better friends.

Or  _friend_.

You dismiss that thought very quickly; it’s not your place to speculate. If he needs you, he’ll come.

It’s getting harder and harder to convince yourself of that, though.

–

It all gets to a head after going for a party. After weeks of him not being a part of your friend group whatsoever, he’s willing to get you into a party at one of his hookups’ house. But when he storms out of the house after trying to find her to get you in, he turns violent out of nowhere. You cringed when Mahdi made the comment about the family dinner, knowing that he’d not take it well. But you have never seen him like this before. The look in his eyes scares you. It’s like he’s screaming at you to leave him alone, to let him  _leave_.

No matter how many texts you send, he ignores you for an entire week. Maybe you just can’t help people who don’t want to be helped.

–

When you see him again at school, he’s evasive. Again. The only thing you can offer is your ear, and you sincerely hope that he’ll come to you again.

You’re supposed to be his friend, but you can’t help but feel that you’re failing in everything you try to do for him. You’re getting desperate.

Until he wants to gift you with the pleasure of kebab. Who would say no?

–

If you’re really honest, it’s not something that surprises you too much. You had seen a guy popping up in his vicinity lately, a very handsome guy indeed. He’s also older. You can see why he would fall for a guy like that.

You find that you don’t really care about his sexuality all that much; you just want to know whether he’s okay, and if that dude is really worth it all.

The spark in his eyes when he sees the drawing tells you all you need to know.

–

Coming out to the other fifty percent of MMJI was relatively easy; probably even better than waiting for the pre-party on Friday. You’re glad that you were able to dissuade the conversation a little; to help him get through this unharmed. You feel like his best friend again.

After the bell has rung and you have to leave for classes again, you grab Magnus close and ask him gently not to use that word again, especially in reference to Isak.

If you can’t take back recommending  _Narcos_ to him, the least you can do is ask his friends not to use that word.

It wasn’t okay back then, and it isn’t now.

–

You’ve become a bit suspicious of this guy. It’s like Even lives in a high school movie, drawing notes to give to his crush but never going beyond that. You can see in his eyes that it tears him up even if he tries to keep it on the down low; so you offer help. This isn’t about being gay or not, it’s about being treated right.

It even surprises you that your advice actually works.

–

You can feel the relief radiating from him throughout the week. His shoulders are less tense, he’s making jokes again and most importantly: he’s taking his studies very serious. You have always known him to be the biggest nerd of Nissen.

He never really refers to Even as his boyfriend, as if he’s too afraid; as if that makes it too official. Or maybe Even doesn’t want to be his boyfriend just yet. Whatever the case may be, when you meet him for the first time, you keep your distance. You observe.

He seems nice. Let’s hope he keeps it that way.

–

You try to keep tabs on him when he reveals what happened that Friday night at the hotel. You had found it pretty amazing of him when you saw his story on Instagram; revealing to the entire school that the rumours were right, that he was together with this third grader. That takes some guts.

Knowing how long it took for him to come to terms with who he is, you know that he isn’t going to take this lightly. He’s fiercely loyal to the people he loves even if he doesn’t show it too often.

It’s why you’re very glad to hear he’s not lying about seeing his parents again. He had told you he had come out to them, and that their responses were relatively… okay on his father’s part and overwhelmingly emotional on his mother’s. He had never expected that.

You know that even if they hadn’t, he would have still had you.

–

Seeing Isak in a relationship is weirder and lovelier that you had ever imagined. Of course, you had seen him as Sara’s boyfriend, but that felt juvenile, disinterested and he-said-yes-just-because-she-wanted-a-boyfriend.

Isak as Even’s boyfriend seems the opposite of that; they work hard to keep their relationship as successful as it has been over the past four months. They give each other what they have needed all along:  _their person._  When they tell you they want to move in together, you can see that it was not decided lightly on their part. You envy their maturity, their willingness to be together, their fun. You wish you would have been so responsible with your relationships in the past.

When you take a picture of the two of them in the moving truck, feeling the weight of the moment, feeling the history of your best friend and the road it took to get him here, you realise that maybe, in hindsight?

It was all meant to be this way.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading!
> 
> so that concludes the works i've done already (and can be found on my tumblr). i'm currently working on a isak perspective on sana's season (which is quite challenging, i might add). i also got other pieces on tumblr that i'm thinking of uploading here, but those are quite short and generally.. nonsensical, haha! but maybe they'll find their place here. 
> 
> come and find me on tumblr @toneelspeler!


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